i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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