Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You were trust falling into bushes
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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