Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Who died my cat blue again?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
