I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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