Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i now understand why vodka
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
