I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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