he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
