Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
