I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
the raccoons are back...
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