It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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