Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
