she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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