'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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