I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
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