She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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