we have pet lesbian snakes
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize