Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
