So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize