he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
