it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
