i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
