You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
