This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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