SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
