if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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