i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
