There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
