so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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