Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
