I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
