My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
