I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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