was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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