it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
