Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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