oh god the rape fog is back!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
