Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
