I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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