My pussy is not your playground.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
did you just send me my own nude
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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