You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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