it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
