i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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