4 words: hood of his car
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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