It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
