butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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