my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
