you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
