Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
