The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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