Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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