i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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