His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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