Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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