This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
