ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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