I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
