so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
