I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
