I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
There are leaves in my underwear?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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