That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
