just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
