im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Just invented taco cereal.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
