ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
